This page has practical strategies and tips on what to do when your Human/Legal rights are abused for being Pagan and also an article on Predators.

We have listed tips and advice to deal with most forms of abuse. They come under the following categories:

• Take a deep breath, calm and centre yourself. Many rash comments and actions are the result of anger and most of which are completely ineffectual. If the abuser is in your face step back and breathe, it is not a withdrawal just a regrouping.
• Don’t brush it off. If you do, who will stop it happening again? The next person? What if they brush it off? Think about it.
• Make notes. Due to the emotion of the moment you may forget details. Make notes, copious notes on what happened, who said what to whom, where, when, why. The more information you have the better your stand will be.
• Witnesses. Do you have witnesses to an incident? Get their details, ask them to write it down also, it is called ‘corroborating evidence’ and if it gets to court you will need it.
• Evidence. Get all the evidence on the abuse and the abuser that you can. Every little bit helps.
• Get Legal Advice. If you feel the situation warrants it, after due consideration, get proper legal advice. Most legal services provide a free surgery; use this service to know what your options are BEFORE launching into expensive legal representation.

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• Written. If the abuse is written and comes to you via hand or post, do NOT throw it away, save the envelope and record when you received it then file a complaint with your local police department. And contact your postal service, they may already know of this person through another complaint.
• In Person. Remember that most countries laws are on the side of the home owner/tenant when it comes to trespassers. Walk away from the abuser and go indoors. Call the local police immediately. Ensure the abuser cannot get inside. Do not interact with the person.

• All incidents. Report the abuse and abuser to your boss, if the boss is involved or does nothing, use the whistle blowing policy that most businesses have and go above your boss’s head to the next manager. If this fails continue upwards to the CEO if you have to. Inform any Union you belong to, Unions usually have in place plans for such events and can be very good to have in your corner. Depending on what country you are in, there are laws against discrimination of religion in the workplace.

• Emails. Print it, save it on your computer and on back up disc. Do NOT delete it! File a complaint with your local police department. Turn on your ‘Full Message Headers’ (search for this on your provider) and file a complaint with the email service provider within 24hrs. They will want a copy of the message with the Full Message Header attached so do that first!
• Junk Mail. If you are anything like me and get a lots of Christian and sexually oriented junk, which is annoying, it is time to end the siege of junk mail in your mailbox. Go to www.newdream.org/junkmail/ to download a form that you simply fill out, sign and mail (addresses are provided). This will remove your name from the majority of mailing lists. You will be amazed at the amount of junk you won't have. If you have a gmail account, you can find out who is selling your email address to spammers
  using this technique:
  If your Gmail address is: username@..., rather than just entering that at some website that asks for your email, replace "username@..." with "username+websitename@...". Gmail uses software that supports this format, and will strip everything between the "+" and the "@", so you recieve the mail at your username@... address, but if you click on the "Show details", you will see who you originally gave your email address to. You can also search Gmail for "username+websitename@..." to find all emails that have that tagged version of your email. (Thanks Farrell for this tip!)
• Forums. Any Forum posts should be dealt with by the Forum Moderators if not go to the owner or admin of the Forum directly. Any abusive PM’s must be reported to the moderators, as in most cases the mods can not access these, hence the term Private Message. You can copy and paste the abuse message into an email to the Forum owner, remember to save a copy in your sent box! 
• Chat. Similar to Forum, contact the chat room owner and report the individual. If the abuse occurs in MSN Messenger or Yahoo Messenger, save the conversation and report it to MSN or Yahoo directly and they will deal with it. 
• ISP. While many Internet Service Providers (ISP) consider e-mail harassment to be a serious violation of their policies and user agreements, and consider such activity a cause for termination of services, they are often unable to disclose users’ identities without legal action.

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• In Person. Just because you are Pagan does not mean you are open to unwanted sexual contact, this is a huge misconception. State firmly and clearly to the abuser that you are not interested, start off by thanking them! This often defuses the situation, if they persist or are getting too forceful to the point you are uncomfortable. Walk away. Preferably get yourself in public if alone. If the person persists, call the local police.
• At Festivals: Most festivals have rules against unwanted or inappropriate sexual contact and make attendees sign to say they have read the rules when they register. This then allows the organizers of the event to rightfully remove the abuser from the festival without further ado, so ensure you report all unwanted contact immediately to the organizers or festival security. You will be amazed how quickly they will act on it.

The issue of Predators in the Pagan and Heathen Communities is rarely addressed. Usually it is only addressed when something so outrageous happens that we cannot but fail to face it! The Pagan and Heathen communities have more than their fair share of predators; whether it is would be gurus or financial or sexual predators or antagonists.

The Shorter Oxford Dictionary simply defines “Predator”

Predator:

  • Noun 1 an animal that preys on others. 2 a person who exploits others.

When one uses the term “Predator” we immediately expect a storm of protest, often led by the predators themselves, who are of course quite upset that someone might be “on” to their Predatory behaviour and the fact that they are spiritual frauds. Other protestors surprisingly are the “victims” of the Predators.  They may still be victims and thus under the influence of the Predators or, more commonly, by admitting that they have been a victim of a predator, believe that people will think that they have been gullible and a fool, and thus defend the Predators with all resources at their disposal. The one who blows the whistle on Predators is likely to be come a victim of extreme, vicious and defamatory attacks and lies as the Predators seek to justify their actions and cover their tracks. Turn the heat back onto the Whistleblower by any means possible!

I am not responsible for identifying specific Predators in the community but they are as common as “used car salesmen” and “Real Estate Agents” and just as good at convincing you to buy a crock

General Features of a Predator

A predator is a GREAT salesman. If they ever got a “real” job they would do very well in sales and marketing. They can convince you that black is white and sell refrigerators to the Eskimo’s. They just sound sooooo plausible and empathic.

A Predator has a variety of techniques to make you feel at ease. They come across as very caring and concerned – before they part you from your money or virginity. They are usually people who are cool calm and collected and seem very much “in control”. They are – of you! They speak well and smoothly and have developed the technique of sounding very plausible. “I have this Bridge for sale……….” And you will be falling over yourself to buy it!

They either dress immaculately or mysteriously – something to grab and focus your attention.

They will present themselves as “expert” and a fount of all knowledge and are NEVER wrong. The word sorry is not in their vocabulary unless it is a means to an end. It is the rest of the world that has a problem, but you will be safe and secure as long as you allow them to enlighten you.

Their assistance to you in anything rarely costs them anything. Maybe a bit of time if they cannot get away with words alone. If assistance is provided, regardless of how minute there is always a payback – usually out of all proportion to the assistance given by them.

Predators primary targets are people – particularly women who are for some reason vulnerable.

Predators have often studied Neuro Linguistic Programming. This is a series of techniques for manipulating your reality. Some others are just naturals at it.  The use of Neuro Linguistic Programming by Sexual Predators is advocated on sites like http://www.seduction.com

Types of predators:

Predators are not restricted to one type or technique – they often combine techniques to produce the outcome that THEY want!

The Guru and the Cultist

The Guru and the Cultist are variants of the same beast. Lack of Ego is NOT their problem. They are adepts at the psychological techniques of persuasion. The present themselves as ultra cool founts of knowledge and attract a following due to a high level of personal charisma.  They exude “mystery” and you never really know anything about them that they do not wish to let you know. They demand loyalty, and most often target people who are feeling vulnerable or “lost”. The Guru will provide you with the direction you need – in the short term. Provided you hand on every word they say you will be OK! Question them and their ways or ethics and you will be either abused or discarded. The Guru’s wrath is awesome and there is a good chance that in your blind trust you will have provided them information that will command your continued loyalty or silence. They will convince you that your friends do not really care about you and that they are really the only ones that care, despite the only “Real” support  for you coming from your other or former friends. The Guru and the Cultist are only in it if there is something in it for them. Unless something boosts their own status or ego they will not participate in something. Team Players they are NOT unless they are running the Team and are thus in a position to claim a lions share of the credit. These are also the people who seek your loyalty and alliances by isolating you from your friends with the schoolyard tactic “You cant be friends with me if you are friends with them”. Mature? – Not!         Common? – Far too common!

The Financial Predator

The Financial Predator will part you from money, or goods or services. They are often Guru’s or Sexual Predators as well. They will get you to give them money, food, accommodation, run them around. They may resort to blackmail or emotional blackmail once they have extracted suitable information from you. They are frequently questionably employed or unemployed – sometimes of so-called independent means. They like to “borrow” money or goods, and often use classic techniques of “If you really supported me you would……….” They will provide only that support which does not cost them anything. These are the people that overcharge for what is actually extremely dodgy services and information of which they are the greatest custodians. Not everyone who charges for services or knowledge is a Predator BUT – Is the charge reasonable for what is actually delivered or promised? Are you being charged by someone for the privilege of tinkering with your mind and reality? In MY opinion any one that charges more than a strict expense covering fee for what amounts to basic religious or spiritual instruction is suspect until proven otherwise.  Ask people a couple of years down the track – how did it change your life? And was it worth the money? Before parting with your hard earned cash! 

The Sexual Predator 

Many predators are sexual predators regardless of what other forms they also adopt. They are mostly but not exclusively male. These people are smooth! They will make you feel that you are soooo important to them. Surprisingly they are often good in bed! They will give you attention and push all the “right” buttons. They will use established psychological techniques to worm your way into your confidence and bed. You will find though that you are only one in a string of conquests. Your question will be “just how many others I know, have they bedded?” The answer is probably – a lot? Frequently they are loath to use “safe sex” They will use sex as a subtle weapon. They will use the fact that you have had sex with them as “leverage”. Yes I will listen to your problems – now when do we go to bed? These predators primarily target women who are vulnerable at that particular point in their lives, and often in the 20 – 30 yr age group. The Sexual Predator often targets single mothers. You will find that they will probably adapt themselves to what interests you – the true Chameleon, be it spirituality, sexuality, interests, diet. This type of predator is very persuasive, and makes you feel good at the time. When you finally wise up to them, you may be the subject of vitriol lies and blackmail. It is NEVER the predators’ fault – you did not understand them! They NEVER actually told you that you were only one of many! Implied yes, told no! Make no mistake! Sexual Predators are a form of Rapist! You may have consented but you have been deliberately and often unknowingly been the subject of powerful psychological techniques designed to make you consent, and even make you feel good about it for some time afterwards. You are NOT the best thing that ever happened to them! You are just one of the many poor suckers who keep hanging out for any crumbs they might offer. One thing about sexual predators is that they will have a history of being commitment phobic.

The Spiritual and Emotional Predator

I am not talking about the Guru but the Predator on your spirit and energy.

Have you ever met the person that seems to suck you dry of energy. They may actually seem nice people! But when they leave your presence you feel totally drained. This is the spiritual leech! The Spiritual Leech has been described by one person as a “black hole of negativity”.  The spiritual predator has little good to say about anyone and will fill you with gossip, stories, and negativity about others. Usually the spiritual leech is a person who has missed the boat, and when looked at critically, is a failure in his or her own life. Often they will take on other people’s achievements as their own, and are pretenders to that which they have not earned. Spiritual Predators are critics not artists and seek to drag you into their own miserable reality. Often you cannot understand why you feel so down and exhausted when they leave your presence. Often Spiritual Predators are also antagonists who have descended into the darker realms of chaos and seek to drag you there with them. They are excellent at playing people off against each other and their stories often vary depending who they are talking to. You need to be aware that when they are with someone else other than you, it is YOU they will be gossiping about and running down. The concept of loyalty is totally foreign to the Spiritual Predator unless it suits their purposes. 

The Antagonist 

The Antagonist specialises in Chaos. They worm their way into people’s confidence by flattery and gain information and then use it destructively. They thrive on the chaos and angst caused by their actions and try to make themselves appear lily white and innocent. The Antagonist may go to far as to attempt to portray themselves as a misunderstood victim. 

They specialise in half-truths and rumour and innuendo to set people against each other. The best lie is that which has some element of truth, and these people are GOOD at it! They will target specific people and use or invent rumours and present them as truths, aiming to enhance their own image. Antagonists are very good at pumping their victims for information on others, under the guise of genuine concern. They will then use that information, sometimes even revealing you as the source in an attempt to create conflict. They will stalk and harass people to the ends of the earth, and piously justify their actions as being in the “public interest”. The truth is whatever they want it to be and like many predators eventually start to believe their own propaganda. For these people it is POWER that is the ultimate aphrodisiac! They get off on the destruction and chaos caused by the breakdown of relationships and reputations and they do not quit! They will come back again and again hoping that if enough mud is thrown some of it will stick.

The Tall Poppy Predator

This is a particularly sick and nasty Predator. This Predator delights in taking down those who are Spiritual and other Leaders, simply for the pure pleasure in seeing them suffer, or in an attempt to in the Predators perception “cut them down to size”. This Predator will stalk, try to dig up dirt, invent dirt and lies, and almost always uses a public forum to present their defamation and vilification. Similar in many ways to the Antagonist, they are persistent and will keep attacking until they find an angle that might just stick and create doubt in peoples minds. The joy in seeing someone publicly and privately suffer seems to be one of the motivating forces behind the Tall Poppy Predator. Anyone connected with the Victim including Family, Friends and Spouses and members of their Pagan or Heathen Group is fair game for this Predator who will have no hesitation in destroying relationships through lies and rumour if it suits their purpose. They most often target reputable leaders in the Pagan and Heathen communities, and have the tenacity of a Pig Dog. Divisiveness lies destruction and chaos are their tools of trade. One of their favourite techniques is to accuse, without evidence (of course the “say” they have evidence, but never can actually produce it, or it is forged or otherwise suspect) of something that it is almost impossible to Disprove, Thus placing someone in an impossible situation of trying to disprove that which cannot be disproved. It is a lot more difficult to prove that you are innocent of something than proving guilt. IF I accuse you of being a murderer – and demand you prove that you are NOT, the fact that you have no conviction or arrest is no defence – it simply means you have not been caught!

Have you been a victim?

Do you know of any of these people or have you been a victim of them? Chances are you do or have. Chances are that they are the people others are always making excuses for! “That is just the way XXXXX is!” One even may get to the point where we blame the victims. If a victim of a Predator DARES strike back, suddenly the victim becomes the worst person on earth! This of course is something the Predator knows and relies upon. The predator will then sit back with an innocent attitude and proclaim THEMSELVES to be the victim of this horrid person who dares to strike back. Funnily enough most people will see it the Predators way. Why because the predator is the psychologist and manipulator and the true victim is not. The Predator has actually set it up in such a way that the true victim becomes a victim again and again, if not from the Predator, from their community when they “so unjustly” protest the Predators actions, and the Predator lives on and indeed may be welcomed to take new victims. The Predator relies on short memories and the fact that the community will DO nothing. Predators are able to reinvent themselves quickly. The Predator has exit plans to disengage quickly and come out looking pure as the driven snow – leaving them free to strike again. A good Predator will never take his victim too far, leaving them in a position where, with the right words, the predator can come back for more.  In this way both the individual AND the community are the victim of the Predator. 

Evidence of the Predators activities are often scant they often leave a lot of confusion and doubt in their tracks. They often leave self-doubt in their victims. Most often their victims do not want to admit their victim status and will even defend the Predator, rather than risk losing face by admitting that they were a victim. The Predator is often a stalwart member of a particular community and many of their victims fear, or may actually be threatened with blackmail or repercussions if they should expose the Predator. A prime example of that is the South Australian Chief Magistrate Peter Liddy who for years was able to operate as a Paedophile untouched and fearless of his victims.

In all of this I have tried to assist you in identifying predators, understanding their actions, and determining whether you or a person you know has been a victim of a predator. By being aware and alert to the tricks of predators you are less likely to become a victim and more likely to be sympathetic and supportive to those who have, mostly through no fault of their own.

What can I do about Predators? In reality very little! Be alert! Don’t be conned by smooth talkers. Have much more empathy with those who have been victims. Recognise the Predators exit strategies of lies, rumours, and half-truths to blacken the name of the victim who fights back! Remember – the Predator will have a good “cover story”, possibly better than the victim; after all, they did not get to be a predator by being BAD at it! Often the Predators bona fides will not stand up to intense scrutiny. The true victim is likely to be the “angry” one! A Predator is a bit like a serial killer and will strike repeatedly. One mistake does not make a Predator! Do not be misled by the Predators razzle-dazzle, it is all the smoke and mirrors of the cheap magician. Banish the Predator and the gossipmongers from your community – never to return! To the BOG with them! Support the true victim and NEVER ignore a cry for help from the victim. 

© Leif 

http://folkvangr.elderway.org

If you have been in this situation and would like to share your ways of dealing with it or a successful strategy please email us so that we can share it with everyone.

Thank you!